riding the storm.

I haven't blogged in a few day, maybe even a week or more I'm not sure. I've been really busy. This week I start my last week of my World Evangelism class, I'm doing good in it, I just have to get through this week and then I get a break week! It is SO needed right now:)

Nick applied for a job a few weeks ago for a bus driver position. He had two interviews and they went really great- but..we still haven't heard anything. It will be two weeks Tuesday and hope is fading fast. We even found a perfect place to live, and put some money down on it to hold it. The woman said she wouldn't cash our check and that we could call her today and let her know one way or another if we'll be taking it. She was so kind, she said if we couldn't move then she wouldn't cash the check. I really hope we can move, the job is just beyond perfect and it even allows for holidays off. It's been so long since we've been able to spend the holidays with our families. I just really want this.. I prayed about it lastnight- I was hoping I would feel encouraged after I prayed but instead I felt selfish for wanting it so bad. We've been trying to move since February- and we were almost certain that our time was here. We had everything lined up and now it's just seeming like it isn't going to happen.

I'm just trying really hard to do this- but so far it's just been challenge after challenge. I thought for sure by now we would be there. I've been asking God to re-affirm our call to Vandalia because I have been struggling with doubt lately because we can't seem to get there. I just thought that if God wants us there then he would make a way. We have done everything we can do, and still nothing. It's just REALLY frustrating sometimes. I have been doing good with keeping these feelings away but as of now it's just really beginning to get to me. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy, but I never anticipated that it would be this hard. It reminds me of when I had Liam. I was in labor for over 12 hours, I begged the doctor to just let me have a c-section.. I was making progress, and then the progress went in reverse. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink that day, and I was in a lot of pain. I was tired, hungry, hurting, and anxious. The doctor said to me that he didn't think Liam would be born naturally but he wasn't willing to throw in the towel. My epidural had stopped working and I was just really frustrated and wanted my son. Then at 7:30ish that night, he was born. I didn't have a c-section. I rode out the storm. Somewhere I found the strength to keep going. I hadn't ate or drank in 24 hours.. and I pushed out a 9lb baby. I felt like giving up so many times but the end result was worth it. Regardless of my pain and weakness, God held my hand and gave me the strength I needed to do what I needed to do. This situation reminds me so much of that. I wait for nine long months, then when the day comes it is slow and painful. I feel like we've been waiting for nearly nine months now to get to Vandalia, and we're almost there. We're weak and tired and discouraged. From our eyes it seems like we are going to have to throw in the towel-- but I know that somehow someway God is going to hold our hands and give us the strength we need to ride the storm. It's hard when your in the midst of this to see His glory, but I know that soon we will. We may just have to wait a little longer than we wanted to.